alt-j:

the first person to die was probably like “dude what”

(via i-n-e-f-f-a-b-l-e-m-e)

witness-protection-with-wings:

witness-protection-with-wings:

so when i was 8 i was in an episode of iCarly and even though i’m 16 now and i have a pixie cut my friends still tell everyone that i was in iCarly.

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i pushed another child off a bench and stole her sandwich this is my legacy

(via earthdad)

purenoise:

in case you didnt know

  • girls can be polite without being flirty
  • dont mistake politeness for being into you
  • girls can be nice without wanting the d
  • ya feel

(Source: favvnspots, via phobias)

z-co:

one of my coworkers got a call (i work in a call center/tech support) from a customer that was really scared because supposedly the mafia was hacking her computer and they were stalking her…when finally my coworker took remote control of the computer he couldn’t stop laughing because

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(via inactiveblogger)